Red Flags – Week 3
Red Flags of a Controlling Person:
- Possessiveness & jealousy
- Manipulation
- Physical or verbal aggression
- They isolate you from others
- Loss of freedom
Control comes from fear not faith.
6 When the victorious Israelite army was returning home after David had killed the Philistine, women from all the towns of Israel came out to meet King Saul. They sang and danced for joy with tambourines and cymbals.[a]7 This was their song: “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!” 8 This made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next they’ll be making him their king!” 9 So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. 1 Samuel 18:6-9
We control relationships out of fear.
Control is often dressed up as love, but it’s love of self, not love for the other.
18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 1 John 4:18
A controlling person wants us to follow them not God.
God calls us to surrender to Him, not control or be controlled by others.
If you’re being controlled by someone:
- Refuse to accept false guilt.
- Don’t take responsibility for their actions.
- Find your acceptance and identity in Jesus.
- Be prepared to call their bluff.
If you’re being controlling:
- Repent
- Trust God with your life and their life.
16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16